Quick Shoddy Reading

While picking up a couple of four packs of the black stuff at a local market, I became (as per usual) transfixed by the tabloids in the checkout aisle. I think it was Michael J. Fox's character in the movie adaptation of Bright Lights, Big City that said something along the lines of "Among your worst addictions is tabloid journalism". I can't say I'm addicted to purchasing and reading tabloids, but I'm definately obsessed with scanning the headlines.


It appears that Tom Cruise has a new girlfriend, a chubby-faced actress that I somewhat remember from some Fox show (am I right here? I'm not going to research it), and I believe a movie or two that I didn't care for. Upon seeing Mr. Cruise and his new chick, I asked the girl behind the counter: Why is it that celebreties must (almost) always date other celebrities? Is there a clause in actors' contracts that states something like "and the undersigned must not be seen involved in an initmate relationship with anyone other than a member of Hollywood society.." ? It's bizarro, no? (she just smiled, and gave me the "you're a nutcase, mister.. you gonna pay for that beer, or do I have to call a manager" look). Anyway.. I'd never sign a contract that had me choose who I'd be sleeping with from the line-up of used-and-abused in Hollywood... no freaking way. Sure, there are some very attractive and talented people in tinseltown... But seriously, I think I could find twenty women at the MALL who were far better looking and worlds more intelligent than the floosies you see your average celeb on the arm of -- and I bet you'd get at least half of the hang-ups and social diseases! Remember Julia Roberts and.. LYLE LOVETT?!?! God, that dude was uglier than my unwashed feet. Ok, that's a bit extreme.. and Lyle isn't really a clebrity, is he? I suppose he is moreso than someone at the mall.. How about Angelina Jolie and BillyBob Thorton? Perhaps he's a telented actor and director (although I don't think so), but what an ugly S.O.B. And I hear he's got some severe mental problems (then again, Angelina appears to as well).
Is is that only Hollywood's finest can relate to.. Hollywood's finest? Can Tom and his girl really can sit down and relate to one another?? ..Complain about this director and that script? Bitch and moan about the trials and tribulations of owning more than three houses?? I DOUBT IT. (By the way, I'm trying really hard not to mention the fact that rumors about Cruise's homosexuality never cease -- not that I care.. but abiding by these rules, who'd be be with? Harvey Firestein? yucko!!).
Perhaps it's the fact that celebs only run in circles with.. celebs. That's to say - Tom Cruise could never just show up at your local bar without getting mobbed.. attacked.. etc. He couldn't just pick up chicks at a local club without watching a melee of nails and hair just to get near him. And if he disguised himself... I bet he wouldn't get one phone number. So I suppose the only socialization these celebs do is with.. other celebs. What a bloody shame. Although I suppose on occasion some of them break the rules. Remember what Hugh Grant did? (attempting to get a licky from a horribly ugly prostitute) That was going out on a limb for 'ol Hugh, eh?
I suppose my point here is that I feel sorry for these famous millionaires. It's not that I'd absolutely despise dating some famous starlet.. it's just that I'd hate being able to AVOID IT!